Fun N Games

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was, "Always".

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

Clones are people two.

No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

As I said before, I never repeat myself!

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Remember, half the people in the world are below average.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

12 Things Not To Say to a Cop

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up
with me.
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical
condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning too!
10.Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one
of us does.
11.I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know
there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me
they are.
12.When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look
red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond
with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been
eating doughnuts?"

read on